Out of Reach
by Ri-Ryn
Summary: If Bon hadn't brought it up, Rin wouldn't have to remember children- a family with a husband -weren't a possibility for her anymore. (Fem!Rin) (Overprotective/Sister-Complex!Yukio?) Slightly OOC! Sibling love / Borderline one-sided incest, depends on individual interpretation. *ONESHOT*


**Title:** Out of Reach

**Author:** Ri-Ryn

**Genre:** Hurt/Comfort/Drama

**Word Count:** 2,405

**Rating:** M* (Content suitable for Mature Teens) / +T

**Disclaimer:** Ao no Exorcist belongs to Kazue Katō.

**Summary:** If Bon hadn't brought it up, Rin wouldn't have to remember children- a family with a husband -weren't a possibility for her anymore. (Fem!Rin) (Overprotective/Sister-Complex!Yukio?) Slightly OOC! Sibling love / Borderline one-sided incest, depends on interpretation.

**Warnings:** Cursing, OOC! Female Rin?

**A/N:** It kind of hit me, I imagined Female Rin loving children, but because she is the child of Satan not being allowed to have any since she awakened; they would be considered a threat. Can you imagine how that would tear a young girl of 15 or 16 up to _know_ that it's impossible for such a stupidly half-assed valid reason? _Aww, sibling bonding between Yukio and Rin is just so sweet here that it makes me squeal!_

**Music:** " Eden " by Hatsune Miku or Nico Nico. " Meltdown " by Nero Akita. " Ao no Exorcist OST - 16 Assiah Fantasia First Movement : Call me later " by Hiroyuki Sawano and sung by Mika Kobayashi.

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Lunch time was silent, something unusual for the rambunctious, blue-haired girl sitting alone at the water fountain. Students milled around, none too close to her, eating with friends, talking, _interacting_. While it didn't bother her, per say, it did bring up some memories not so old and not so happy. She was always alone, wasn't she? Aside from Father and Yukio, the church people, there wasn't anyone then. Rin would be lying to the world if she said there was.

Now? Rin had many people who she could trust: sure they could be asses like Bon, perverts like Shima, or plain unpleasant yet reliable like Izumo, but then there was level-head yet scared Konekomaru or kind and adorable Shiemi. Father may not be there anymore, but Yukio was and by cursed extension of her Father's death, to some degree Mephisto, perhaps.

Rin's ears perked, hearing squeals. She raised her cobalt eyes to see something that brought a soft smile to her face. The True Cross Kindergarten Sprouts were taking a tour of the main campus, which was a combination of all supernatural and both the college and high school buildings, dorms included. Of course the former was a secret, but it was an annual field trip to see the latter.

Rin chuckled softly, observing each of the individual young ones. A young boy with proper attire, combed hair and a bandage on each of his knees. _He must be bullied like Yukio was._ A little girl with paint and crayon wax smeared over her jumper. _I bet her parents are frustrated every day she goes to school and then comes home looking like that!_ A taller than usual boy was carrying around a blanket in one arm. _Humph, mommy's little helper, probably._ A trio of rowdy boys passed by and Rin noticed their rough hands and disheveled appearances, small cuts or budding bruises easy to spot _…The bullies, which means…_

Rin found him instantly, in the back, covered in bandages, looking worse for wear with a swollen cheek, who kept his eyes focused on the ground and hidden behind his dark blue, almost black hair. Rin bit her lip. _And the loner, the outcast just like me…_ The girl gasped as the small boy stumbled on a rock embedded in the ground, quickly grabbing her bag and rising her-self to run to him. The trio of boys had noticed him fall and came close to antagonizing him again if she hadn't reached him in time.

Rin growled at the younger children, "Get out of here," and watched in satisfaction them flee at the sight of her elongated canines, also taking notice how the teacher was _ignoring _the little boy in front of her, a feeling she knew to well. The half demon turned to see the little boy looking up at her and shuffled embarrassed, "Err," Rin was flustered. _Great, what a fantastic first impression._ "Did you hurt yourself again after falling?"

The boy shook his head slowly. "I see." _Well, this is awkward._ "I'm quite clumsy, so I always keep bandages and stuff with me. So, let me treat those wounds before your class gets too far ahead, ne?" Rin turned, digging through her bag for the supplies and faintly catching out of her peripheral the small smile decorating the boy's face.

The wounds were fairly small and easily treatable but the silence was odd for her. "What's your name? I'm Rin, by the way, Okumura Rin."

The boy shifted a little, mumbling. Even with her hearing she didn't quite catch it as she applied another bandage, "I'm sorry, what?"

"…Masaiki Ren…

"Hm, that's quite close to my name. Ren means _Lotus_, right?" Rin flashed the young boy a smile, "Your name is very beautiful, Ren-kun, you should be proud of it." The boy flushed; no one had ever said his name was nice, choosing instead to call it girly.

"There!" Rin smiled again as the boy looked in wonder; it hadn't hurt at all, she was gentle as the wind.

Rin hummed as she put away her supplies before looking for the boy's class and noticing them an entire football length ahead of her. The boy wouldn't catch up unless he could sprint that far. "Well, Ren, let's say we catch up, yes?" Rin quickly donned her messenger bag before scooping up the young boy who squeaked as she nestled him in her arms before pausing, "Hold on tight," and took off running.

Rin glanced down to see the boy's smile before getting an idea. Mid-run she carefully swapped the boy from her arms to sitting on her shoulders with her hands holding him securely. He laughed in delight making her not care if she looked like an idiot running that way. She easily reached the class, seeking the teacher with a scowl who stared surprised at the out of breath girl and her student atop her shoulders. "**Keep a better eye on your kids, lady**."

Rin turned away to set Ren down, ignoring the gawking class and spluttering teacher. "I've gotta' go now, but don't ever let anyone get you down, alright Ren-kun, can you promise me that?" The boy shyly held out a pinky and the blue-haired girl grinned, "Alright then," she said grasping it with her own, "it's a promise."

She stood ruffling his hair before turning to run back to her lunch left at the fountain. _He was so cute; I hope he keeps on fighting to defend himself and for what he believes in. _The girl's grin drooped. _Because when you give up, when you give in even a little, you'll never quite get it back._

"Rin-chan~"

The twin shivered, looking up to see the perverted monk waving at her next to a wide-eyed, open mouthed Bon and fidgeting Konekomaru.

"Y-you!" Spluttered Bon, "you actually like and can handle children!?"

Rin scowled, "So? What's it to you, ya' damn rooster!?" **This** was why she was annoyed by him. Was her liking and handling children really that shocking?

"Well, yeah! I didn't think you were actually a girl! Don't tell me you want little monsters of your own or something!" Bon made a disgusted face. "One of you is enough for the world unless they turned out like Okumura-sensei."

Rin froze. _My own?_ If she did… "…I…no, not really," she whispered, one of her hands making its way to fist itself in her skirt.

Bon closed his eyes in relief, sighing. "Ah, that's a relief. Besides, I doubt anyone would want to marry you, damn Amazon woman," he cursed.

"Yeah," Rin said weakly, still smiling. _Shut up…_

"Bon," Shima complained, "Be nice, Rin's a good girl when you get to know her. Plenty of guys will be lining up to marry her."

The Aria/Dragoon in training snorted with narrowed eyes, "Yeah right Shima, cooking would only get her so far. It can't account for monstrous strength and a bad personality."

"Bon!" Konekomaru admonished. "Rin's a girl and has feelings, too!"

"A _demonic_ girl."

"Bon?"

The taller boy looked her way. "Hah?"

"_**Shut up.**_" Rin bit her lip, her fang accidently piercing it and letting blood flow. "I did want children but you know what you asshole?" Okay, letting this out on the wrong person, not part of her intention, but he wouldn't just _stop_ and give it a rest. "**I **_**can't have any!**__"_

Tears started falling off the young girl's cheek as the three boys stared, stunned, unsure of what to do, and panicking on the inside. They had never seen Rin cry, ever, no matter how bad a situation came her way.

"Why would I do that to a child? Do you think the Vatican would let the _Daughter of Satan_ **spawn** more underlings? Would any mother want her children to be hated just for existing?"

Rin cried fully now, not caring anymore about smiling, being positive and looking at the brighter side. "They'd probably be taken from me and executed as soon as they were born even though they did nothing wrong! And you _think _that I would _want that_!? Even if I did have them, demons could use them against me because I would be their mother, I have to protect them. If I adopted, they could be hunted by demons, still. They could accidently receive a Spirit Wound from Kuro or I and see things they shouldn't have to! The Vatican wouldn't let a beast raise _full-human, or half-human_ children either, all because of who I am!"

_Forget the Bento, forget everything._ "**Who would be the real demon then? Could you live with yourself knowing you were their parent, that you were supposed to protect them but then let them be killed or treated like freaks: animals for the slaughter without feelings when they do feel pain?!**"

Rin looked away, ashamed that she had snapped like this and actually _told _anyone what she really thought, how she felt. She hated that she couldn't just keep smiling and laugh it off, like always because she was Rin and that's what she did. Admitting anything meant she was vulnerable, that she wasn't strong but instead a letdown, not someone you would depend and entrust with your safety. It meant she wouldn't have a purpose because really, say she defeated Satan, _**then what about Rin, what do we **__do__** with her?**_

She sneered bitterly. "But what would someone like _you_ or anyone else know about that?" The girl turned tail with her blue ponytail lashing at her back and ran, ran away from the bastard that made it his life mission to bring up what she knew she could never have or even dream of wanting.

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Yukio sighed, opening the door and seeing Rin where he suspected she would be, curled up on her bed with her head buried into a pillow. The quivering of her shoulders betrayed her sleeping appearance, even if she had finished crying. He had pried the story out of his three students when Rin and skipped the rest of the school day and he was pissed. He may not have called Bon out on it then, but they would be having a friendly, man to man talk later, **alone** in a desolate, rarely frequented hallway in a deserted building of the academy.

"Nee-san?" The quivering shoulders stopped as her tail lashed side to side at his voice. "Nee-san, I heard about what happened between you and Suguro today at lunch."

Rin made no move besides stilling herself and tail to acknowledge her younger brother.

Yukio closed the door gently and walked to sit down on her bedside, gently brushing hair away from the side of her face to find a cobalt eye, puffy and red, glaring at him with no real malice behind it.

"**Don't**, Yukio," and she turned her head opposite of him. What happened wasn't something she exactly wanted to talk about, and he _knew_ her better than that but chose to ignore it.

"I didn't know."

Rin stayed the way she was. "Yeah, well, neither did them. It doesn't fit someone like me, right? To think things through?" Rin shifted a little further away from Yukio.

"That's not what I meant." Yukio reached out to touch her shoulder but she flinched away, making him wince and retract his hand. Physical contact for comfort was something he never thought either of them would deny each other. But look at them now as they grew up, Father died, and he pushed her away almost every chance he got when she reached out to him.

He really sucked as a brother.

"I never knew it would bother you so much."

_Who would it not unless they never wanted a family in the first place?_ "…doesn't matter. I've known about it ever since I found out what I am. The only thing I'm glad about is it doesn't apply to you."

"Nee-"

"I'm used to being alone anyway. I'm not stupid, you know." Rin's voice was soft and raw from her earlier tears. "You won't be here forever. Someday you'll find a wife and have little smart-ass brats running around too." Rin's voice wavered, "Rin-oba-san might just visit occasionally."

"_Maybe…_" she mumbled. "_Or I should just stay away since I'll be in the way or screw something up or hurt them on accident. Who am I kidding? I shouldn't be allowed near children should-_"

Yukio grabbed his sister by the shoulders, yanking her crying face up to face him. "Rin, never say that about yourself! You won't screw anything up and don't think I'll abandon you if I did ever find a wife."

"And do what, Yukio?" Rin asked softly, "Bring your mess-up sister in to impose on your wife and you? No woman would want that."

"If she can't accept you, I wouldn't marry her in the first place, now would I?" Yukio said firmly, searching his sister's azure eyes with his sea-foam green ones. He still couldn't see anything but misplaced acceptance in them.

Rin smiled sadly. "You're the best little brother ever, Yukio, but I wouldn't be happy if you denied yourself a woman you loved just for my sake. That defeats the purpose of an older sister seeing her younger brother's happiness."

Rin pat his hair before moving to get up off of the bed, choosing to close the discussion at hand on her own terms. She gasped in surprise as arms pulled her back into her brother's chest with him burying his face in her long blue hair like a child. "Yukio?"

"And what about my happiness, Rin? I would not be able to live knowing I abandoned the only family I had left, even at the chance of gaining a new one. You're not something I can just replace like a broken item, moron."

Rin's eyes watered as she hugged back her brother's arms around her. "You're the idiot, something's wrong with you. Father must've dropped you on your head when we were younger." Water trailed down her cheeks again. "What brother wants to be stuck taking care of his sister until she dies or something comes along and kills her?"

"The little brother that just really loves his big sister, Nee-san." He smiled slightly, eyes tightly shut. _And wouldn't give her up for the world, because you are my happiness, Rin-nee-san._

Rin laughed lightly, a bubbly tinkle. "Yeah, yeah, and Nee-san loves little crybaby Yukio too, _always_."

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